Signs that You Only Like the Idea of Him

Signs that You Only Like the Idea of Him

Relationships are tough as they are. First of all, women and men are considered different in their reactions, emotionality, even in their expectations from intimate partners. I prefer to claim that “people” are different, not only based on gender, but based on their background and their innate character. Nevertheless, it is hard to find a good fit. Second of all, our contemporary world is so fast-paced and overwhelmed with information that we often get confused about the way our relationship should be evolving. We watch tones of movies about love, we read stories and articles and we communicate with so many of our friends on a daily basis just because we can due to social networks. All this pressure causes us to create a strange idea of what our relationship has to be as opposed to observing what it is in real life and checking if something is actually bothering us.

So what can we do? It is important to set yourself apart from others and from the conceptions of love that others have build in movies, for example. You are not Bridget Jones or Carrie Bradshaw: they are fictional. They have some similarities to your lifestyle probably, but you are not them and their fate is not your fate. You should carefully examine your own life, yourself, your emotional, intellectual, psychological and physical needs. However, do not create a set of rules your relationship needs to follow. Instead, ask yourself: am I happy? Does this person make me feel good? There is your answer.

Due to all this social pressure in terms of love and relationships, you might get caught in up and not love someone, but love the idea of being with them. It is a thin line and hopefully you understand it. Here are a few signs that you might actually be wrong in reading your own feelings:

  • You did not notice him at first, but you decided you like him once you found out about his feelings. This sign is not 100% accurate as it is sometimes hard to consider one as a love partner when their behavior has not revealed them as a suitable partner. However, consider whether you were attracted by anything in him or if you thought he was a guy you would actually date.
  • Try to analyze your thoughts and initial reactions when you receive a text or phone call from him or when you have to see him. Are you excited or rather annoyed? Any negative feelings are a definite sign that something is wrong. He should provoke excitement, and if not, at least comfort. If hanging out with him is unappealing to you and you prefer almost any kind of other activity, your relationship might be in trouble.
  • If you have nothing in common, then you have a problem. Whether it is interests, hobbies, any idea of spending your spare time or book and movie preferences, you need to have something that brings you together. Especially when it comes to your free time, as that is when you can establish contact and build your relationships! The truth is that opposites attract to some extent, but there needs to be a point when you two actually match.
  • Can you actually keep a conversation with him? Is he the kind of person you want to share your ideas and thoughts with? Is he the one you call in case something important happens? If the answer to these questions is “yes”, you can somewhat relax. However, if the answer is negative, you might want to rethink this relationship. He needs to be someone who you trust, who supports you and who you want to rely on.
  • Finally, if you see yourself trying to change him constantly, then this is simply not your guy. It is one thing if you want to teach him to take the trash out and stop leaving his socks all around the apartment, but it is a whole other thing if you are trying to change his wardrobe, his sense of humor, his hopes and dreams even.

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